Christmas is a magical time for most of us whether you choose to celebrate in a traditional way or not, but if the ‘traditional’ way means a stressed out chef, weeks of shopping and preparing, sleepless nights and youtube views on the BEST way to cook the Turkey, not enough room in the fridge/freezer/oven or cupboards ‘do I need an alternative to turkey ‘, ‘I’m doing the main, you can sort out the starter, No one will want pudding after all that, Does everyone like Xmas pud? Best buy red, white and Rose to cover all bases, OMG we need table clothes/napkins, table centre piece. WAIT have we got enough matching plates and cutlery, Should we buy a new table?
STOP, let someone else do it for you!
Here’s what’s available locally, and if it’s not Christmas Day you are after, check out their Christmas Party Nights, and in some cases what they have going on on New Years Eve
Other alternatives are available at the end and if you are going to go for it yourself, some good advice !
Christmas Day options
Olive Tree Brasserie, Lytham
More info and booking HERE
The Deacon
More info and bookings HERE
The Station Pub & Grill
More info and bookings HERE
Lytham House
More info and bookings HERE
Queens Hotel
More info and bookings HERE
Blossoms Sizzling Pub, Ansdell
Check out menu, more info and booking sizzlingpubs.co.uk
Le Patio, St Annes On Sea
(please note only 12 o clock sittings now available)
More info and booking HERE
Water’s Edge, St Annes on Sea
Check out menu, more info and bookings HERE
Lord Derby, St Annes On Sea
Check out menu, more info and booking HERE
Miller and Carter, St Annes on Sea
Check out menu, more info and booking HERE
OTHER ALTERNATIVES
Let these people cook it and all you have to do is order in plenty of time, buy starter and pud from M & S (other food stores are available) lay the table, pick up and get someone else to wash up OR use paper plates (sorry I personally cannot think of anything worse, but each to their own)
Le Roti Xmas Takeaway, Lytham
Contact details here leroti.com/
Tasty Snax, (that also DELIVER, for a fee) St Annes On Sea
2 COURSE CHRISTMAS DINNER
Christmas Dinner & Christmas Pudding
Brandy Sauce/ Cream/ Custard
Collection or Home Delivery on Christmas Eve
Turkey Crown
Pigs in Blankets
Stuffing
Cranberry Sauce
Honey Parsnip
Carrots
Roast Potatoes
Creamy Potatoes
Brussel Sprouts
Broccoli
Peas
Gravy
Yorkshire Pudding
More details and contacts here
Do it Yourself
BUT if after all you are going to do it yourself THIS may help (seen several times over a couple of years on Facebook, so not sure who to credit for it)
Christmas Dinner….
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs…
It’s a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!!
The only difference is that you are allowed to open a bottle of wine before you open the kitchen curtains.
We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year…apparently not!
Here goes…
1. Turkey… It’s a big fecking chicken that’s all, 20 minutes per lb
plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees – jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!
2. Stuffing – regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing….( no fecking wonder he’s bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking .
3. Gravy – Jamie Oliver is copping for this one as well….
Bisto Jamie…. All you need is Bisto! I ( nor anyone else I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour, cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy
4. Vegetables. Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable… If you don’t like them don’t buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that’s good enough!
5. Roast potatoes… Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same .
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like…. Aldi or Lidl! (oh and while we’re on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that’s fine – you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family….
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce – fine leave em to it, it doesn’t matter. Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults… Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally…..
NO ONE…. And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET PISSED AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!
Whatever you decide to do, enjoy it, don’t let this be you…………….it’s only one day after all
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